Getting ready for back to school

Even though I left academia four years ago (department chair, tenured professor - I was in that deep), I still tend to follow the academic calendar.

Now is the time to get ready for the new school year and set my intentions, so when my clients and students arrive in August, I’m already prepared.

I’m ready to hold the space for them then because I held the space for myself now.

So here’s two examples of where I’m figuring it out right now:

Social Media Use

This summer I found some new ways to weaponize social media against myself.

I thought I could block and unfollow my way to stop torturing myself, but that was a temporary fix for a larger issue.

Seth Werkheiser captured my thoughts with his recent post, “If social media makes you sick, start dreaming of a life without it.”

Many people are saying, “But Substack notes are different! Threads is different!” Yeah, for now. I don’t want to keep platform-hopping my way around real conversations.

I spent 13 years living in small, rural towns where my online connections were my lifeline. I used time on social media to connect and feel seen. And it especially helped during the COVID lockdown years.

But now I’ve been in a large city for three years. And it is SO satisfying to actually sit with people who get me. To cry and laugh about our shared struggles together in person. That’s the connection I enjoy right now.

The strangest part is I meet new people, in person, and then I often follow their social media. And I’m kind of like, “But this isn’t who you are. This isn’t you - this is the public facing, shiny you.”

Which is the projection of me. That’s what I’m putting on social media. My IG account barely captures the last year of my life. It showcases myself as an expert, someone who wins awards, and a lot of shiny smiles.

I’m pretty tired of that game.

I’m also very tired of late-stage capitalism knowing exactly when I’m vulnerable to purchasing more concrete objects, putting it front of my face in an ad, and then falling for the buy now.

Now, I could just pull the plug on social media altogether. I’ve done that many times in the past ten years. My lasting friendships always find ways to privately connect.

But the push/pull exists with my clients. Most of my clients, in both coaching and consulting, are around the world. Some of my clients I’ve seen for over five years in only a virtual setting. We have built important relationships together. And it is my deepest honor to sit with them on Zoom. I cherish it so much.

I want to stay connected with them. I want them to see my life when we’re not in sessions together so they know I’m working on the same things in different ways.

So disappearing online doesn’t make sense. But pretending I’ve got my life together and I’m an expert and here’s all the shiny things about me doesn’t make sense either.

A related thread is the recent reminders from Sairo Rao and Regina Jackson to white women like myself that,

“Antiracism work depends on your acknowledging your imperfections, namely how you have been born into and nurtured by a white supremacist society. This means acknowledging that you are not the expert on how it feels to be on the receiving end of racism, which means you do not get to decide what is and is not racist. Just like men don’t get to decide what is and is not sexist. It means acknowledging that you will get it wrong, that you will feel embarrassed, and that you will struggle to make progress. In spite of these obstacles and this necessary discomfort, you will have to pick yourself up and get back into the work—work that is messy, not tidy. Work that is tables turned upside down, not neatly set. Work that is imperfect.”

And damn, it’s so easy to look perfect on social media.

To decide not to even post this post because “it’s a mess” and incomplete thoughts, incomplete writing.

I’m here, showing up today. Listening. Learning.

Curious about your thoughts and how you’re navigating social media.

Health Recalibration

I’ve shared a lot about my health publicly over the years in the spirit of embodiment and not being a “brain on a stick.”

Part of that health work has been reining myself in when I want to “fix myself” or treat myself like an extreme laboratory experiment. I can go too far pretty easily with tracking and making changes.

But right now, I’m resetting around hormones. I’m very happy there are so many doctors out there bringing to light the issues around perimenopause. Message me if you want to sidebar convo about that one. It’s a lot.

I’m also resetting on caffeine consumption and sugar following some ayurvedic principles.

I’m committed to taking care of this spacesuit in this reality because I know the consequences when I don’t.

Or said from a different perspective - my body doesn’t put up with my brain’s bullshit anymore.

It was also quite entertaining to shatter a bowl of non-dairy ice cream last week in my kitchen. Those are the kinds of photos I immediately send my friends and don’t post on social media. It’s all connected.

The other domains of life are resetting too, but more on that in future posts.

Sending love from very hot, humid days in Ohio.

And looking forward to hearing about your July / back to school planning mode.