How I caught myself in a coping mechanism with compassion

Also known as - have you ever found yourself buying too many books?

Last night four books showed up on my doorstep from Amazon. I was quite surprised - when did I order these?

But instead of focusing there, I stepped back and reflected on my whole person with curiosity. "In the past couple of days, Caitlin ordered books. She tends to do that as a soothing technique. I wonder if that's what's going on here. Books help parts of her feel calm. And she did pack up the rest of her books in the past few days. She's going through a stressful transition right now. Ah yes, of course, she ordered these books. Let's see how we can listen and support her."

A few years ago, I would have turned to criticizing myself for ordering books. A voice that I would have believed to be me would say, "Why did you do this? Don't you know better? You need to save your money." I would have shamed myself for my behavior instead of using the process I described above.

If I had even started to get close to curiosity, another part would have piped up with, "We're fine. Fine. Everyone is fine." And they would drown out the other parts that weren't fine. The parts that were freaking out and buying books to cope.

So I'm grateful today for the opportunity to reflect in a different way. This way is having compassion for myself. This way keeps me out of a thought spiral that could shape the rest of my day in a negative way.

Curious about the parts inside of you? I walk through the concept in Chapter 5 of my book, "Unstuck: Three-step system workbook to help high achievers move from stress to flow."