How to feel balanced after your spring break

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Last week I had my version of an academic spring break.

There was less work on my schedule, but that didn't mean I took the week off completely.

I knew it was coming, so I had grand plans.

Has this ever happened to you?

I used to use my "spring break" times against myself. Five years ago I would have looked forward to it and made a schedule for myself. During the week, when I slept in or didn't follow the schedule, I'd start yelling at myself. Some part of me would start telling the other parts, "What's wrong with you? You have this luxurious break! Use it or lose it! It's slipping away from you! Be better!"

By Friday I would have felt miserable about what I did and didn't do during the week. Reviewing my list of accomplishments. Trying to give myself grace for being on "break," but sounding more like pity. Beating myself up for not having the week I wanted.

Last week I caught that pattern starting to form before it became an unstoppable tornado. I met myself with firm kindness on Tuesday. "Caitlin, your expectations of this week were too high. Let's re-evaluate together." Not from a do-whatever-I-want place, but a compassionate place.

I listened to the entire committee inside of me, not only the "productive high achiever" boss. I asked my inner child what she wanted out of the week. I asked my inner teenager what would light her up during the week. I made space for all the parts of me to experience the week.

Many of my clients come to me vacillating between two extremes. Either they are being an extreme, permissive parent to themselves. "Do what you want, when you want!" Or they swing the other way to strict, authoritarian rules. "Do exactly this plan or you're a failure!" There are many ways to be loving and firm with ourselves without extremes.

I'd love to hear your examples of when you've enacted that balance for yourself.

Share below in the comments.