Get Ahead of the Holiday Self-Sabotage Now

As we step into October, now is the time that sets the trajectory for the next three months.

Yes, you heard that right—how we approach today can shape our experience of the entire holiday season.

The question is: how can we catch ourselves before falling into familiar patterns?

Hi, I’m Caitlin Faas, a developmental psychologist, and I’m fascinated by the patterns that dictate our behavior—especially the ways we tend to self-sabotage. And here’s a big one: while nature is telling us to slow down as winter approaches, society seems to speed up. We race toward the holidays and the end of the year like we're in some sort of marathon, only to crash into exhaustion by December 31st. Sound familiar?

I’ve been there too—pushing through, adding more to my plate, and finding myself completely worn out by the time the new year rolls around. But here's the thing: we don’t have to live in that cycle. I’m choosing to break free, and I invite you to join me.

Here’s what I’m focusing on: how I can avoid getting in my own way this season.

I’m reflecting on the patterns that prevent me from slowing down, being intentional, and staying present with what’s truly important. Because when I don't pay attention, I find myself doing things like:

• Overscheduling: It's so easy to fill the calendar with holiday events, work projects, and social commitments. Before you know it, every moment is spoken for, and you didn’t even realize it was happening.

• Overeating: Standing at Costco, I might be tempted by those big bags of Halloween candy. If I’m not intentional, I could easily eat my way through the season, using food to avoid dealing with emotions.

• People-pleasing: Have you already said “yes” to a holiday event you're dreading? Are you committing to something just to avoid disappointing others? What if you didn’t put that on your calendar this year? What if you respected your own boundaries instead?

• Perfectionism: Maybe you have a vision of what the holidays—or your end-of-year work projects—should look like. Especially if there are kids involved, trying to “make it perfect” for them. It’s so easy to get caught up in trying to make everything perfect, controlling every little detail. But at what cost?

These are all ways I’ve sabotaged myself in the past, and they’re easy traps to fall into if we don’t step back and pay attention. For many years, I ended the year exhausted, only to jump into new resolutions in January—never really giving myself the rest I needed.

But now, I’m watching the cycles more closely. I’ve learned that I don’t have to participate in this societal game. You don’t either.

So, how are you preparing for the holidays NOW?

What can you change this year so you don’t fall into the same familiar pattern?

Let's do this differently, together.