The post where I stop lying to myself and start writing again

Photo by Kai Pilger on Unsplash

My brain thinks it is helpful when it covers my heart with lies.

Like throwing a blanket on top of a hot lamp.

Eventually, the blanket catches on fire and burns.

Eventually, the heart purifies the brain of its lies.

A big lie after I published my book two years ago:

“I have nothing else to write.”

All done. A life lived and explained.

I thought I would just keep carrying on with my life the way I had set it up.

Instead, a lot changed between December 2021 - April 2022.

Divorce. Moving again. Unexpected death. More losses of people and objects.

My life became a soap opera of changes.

We could say I have a lot to write about now in 2023.

But my brain also resists that and pulls out a whole new pile of lies.

So let’s focus on a smaller, easier story as I get back into writing.

Yesterday morning, I ran/walked ten miles with my local pacing group.

I enjoyed the trees.

My ten-year-old water bottle leaked most of the time.

The group discussion relived memories of the Mexican restaurant Chi-Chi’s.

I delighted in watching a woman eat her first energy gel.

We all recommended the gummies next time.

I explained the connection between feeling emotions and meditation to someone who was asking about my work.

The same woman guessed my age to be 24 (I’m 37 and she’s 38). Ha!

And then after the run, I drove to the Tim Horton’s for my usual iced coffee.

I handed her a coupon, proud of myself for using it before it expired.

She handed it back and said, “This coupon is for Dunkin.”

I laughed and laughed about it right there as I paid.

Why am I writing about these random bits from my morning?

Because that’s life.

I’m still alive, doing very human things.

I remember when I would hear about someone’s grief and wonder how they got through their days and years following the death.

I don’t have to wonder anymore.

A lot of human experience remains the same.

Life to live and randomness to share.

What will continuing to write reveal?

I don’t know yet.

But I do know I’m looking forward to sharing with you here on Substack.

A different medium than my Youtube channel.

Less as an expert on a stage and more as a person walking alongside you.

Each on our path, connecting through words and Light.

So when my brain says again, “Would you like a blanket to cover all that up?”

I’ll say, “No, brain. Let the lamp shine its Light.”