The notion of actually leaning into these parts has been really helpful for me. I've always been the person who just says "Silence! You are wrong, young part!" Ok, maybe not those words, but that idea. It just doesn't work. It comes back louder or there is a weird feeling of loss inside me (like a dissonance). Letting them feel heard instead helps SOOO much. This doesn't mean doing what they say, of course (though it might sometimes!). It's more like allowing them to have a vote, maybe..."Ok, you said your part, and we all hear you. That's valid. And we are doing this other thing, while hearing your valid concerns." This isn't always easy in practice, but it's FAR better than the old way I used, which just didn't really work and led to a lot of internal stress.
Great article. I love that you take time to listen in stillness. You might like this one: https://veronikabondsymbiopaedia.substack.com/p/a-new-years-gift
The notion of actually leaning into these parts has been really helpful for me. I've always been the person who just says "Silence! You are wrong, young part!" Ok, maybe not those words, but that idea. It just doesn't work. It comes back louder or there is a weird feeling of loss inside me (like a dissonance). Letting them feel heard instead helps SOOO much. This doesn't mean doing what they say, of course (though it might sometimes!). It's more like allowing them to have a vote, maybe..."Ok, you said your part, and we all hear you. That's valid. And we are doing this other thing, while hearing your valid concerns." This isn't always easy in practice, but it's FAR better than the old way I used, which just didn't really work and led to a lot of internal stress.
Yes, well said! And it's an ongoing practice and tool we can use.