For me, it depends on the environment energetically. If the energy is really bad, I find it hard to meditate, whereas when the energy feels pristine, it is easy. Also, for clarity's sake, I would like to kow clearly if you are planning on ever responding to me about the issues I brought forward. I have since learned that these issues permeate meditation communities quite deeply, as can be seen in the Dalai Lama's tongue kissing-boy fiasco - I watched it and it was truly horrible and not just a critical cultural difference, IMO.
Hey, maybe I didn't get the notificaiton - notifications have been irregular for me and I know a number of other people. The last I heard was when you said you felt safe after feeling like you got to know me here a bit from reading my work and getting a sense of me here on substack, and I responded that I was glad you felt safe and also I was wondering what went into your thought process around initially being hesitant to discuss the element of the issue of sexual abuse that I brought up - namely when it is endorsed or enabled institutionally whereby coaches, top athletes and other authority figures, whether professors, or in other fields, it could be gurus/teachers/supervisors etc are not equally held accountable compared to an average Joe or Jill. Since you do not have a fear or being fired, I wondered what it was you were afraid of before knowing me a bit that would stop you from taking a strong stand and openly saying, "Yes, this is happening all over the place, including on campuses, and I think it is a fair question for a person who is being interviewed because they run a program to prevent sexual violence on campus to be asked and to see a lack of a willingness to respond as a failure that itself must be called out - for a lack of courage for someone to refuse to discuss that topic IN that position indicates either they are afraid of the consequences - they should not be working that job if they can't do it with integrity - or they are colluding to be the face of supposing to do something about a problem that is kept firmly in place by networks that extend in every direction to all the false halls of pseudo power. I'm expanding on why I felt she should have responded to me online, and why I felt if you were going to host her, you had some responsibility to have the conversation even if she wasn't willing...
So I do not know your personal story, but I do think given that you chose that guest and that I was coming to you as someone who has experienced being groomed, however my limited experience pails to others who have had far worse - it was on you to make me feel safe rather than the other way around. And so I just didn't get a response after I responded to you about being glad you felt safe but also disturbed that given the above, you weren't able to step into the space of making me feel safe since I was in your space with the above characteristics.
Did you respond after that? If so, fly me a link, cause like I said I'm not getting notifications with regularity. If not, I guess I don't want to put anything on you at this point, I just want to know if you are planning to respond, because ideally I'd love for you take ownership for avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation piece if we are truly to end sexual violence on campus, as well as in general.
(And we've had other conversations somewhere tucked in the Notes feature, on other people's pages too.)
"I'd love for you take ownership for avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation piece if we are truly to end sexual violence on campus."
I'll definitely take ownership that I did not set up my free comments section on Substack to be a safe space. I want people to feel heard and get a chance to express themselves in these free comments, for sure. I also believe the comments section is a place where words get said publicly, without tone, and can easily be misunderstood. I do my best to create safe spaces in other modalities.
I'll also own that I'm not on a personal mission to end sexual violence on campus or sexual violence in general. Do I think it's important? Yes. And I don't have emotional ties to this topic. I don't regularly talk about it. One could say I'm avoiding it - sure. I'll own that. And I don't even have a desire to regularly talk about it at this point in my life, especially on this Substack. One could that's part of the problem. Sure. I am part of a lot of problems. I haven't been talking about politics or war or many other issues on my Substack. That's okay with me.
I've been keeping it at a surface level because while I think there is opportunity for dialogue here, I also sense an agenda. You said you want me to say a particular thing in a particular way. That's fine, you're totally allowed to make that request. And I don't want to say the things you want me to say.
I'm not asking for you to make space and I'm not asking for you to make me feel any particular way. I don't have any requests. I engage with my readers the best way I know how.
So, I'm listening - and I'm not able to create a safe space here for you, Alicia. Grateful for your time and attention.
Okay, so why did you have as a guest a speaker talking about ending sexual violence, and in particular sexual violence on campus? I'd like to see a world where institutions hold all people accountable regardless of their station in life - that's absolutely true - I don't have any others. You asked what else I wanted from you - I only said a specific thing that I would describe as my ideal outcome out conversation because whereas initially I just wanted to know whether to expect a response at all, you seemed to be inviting a deeper ask, and some people find it helpful to have specifics, as opposed to my initial query was wanting to know if you had responded (ie the notifications could be the issue) and if not if you were going to. Again, I think the owness is on you create safe space if you're going to choose that kind of a guest in a forum with open comments.
In my opinion, it's absolutely okay for you to choose not to focus on whatever isn't your alignment to focus on, but if you have a guest on a specific topic but you are unwilling to address relevant conversations to that topic, that's like inviting someone in out of the cold and saying, "he have a drink," then when the order a drink they assumed was on the menue because of the kind of establishment you are, you more or less nicely flip them and show them the door. I love people who just post about their garden, or mindfulness, or lovely art or whatever is inspiring them that they want to showcase without going into more challenging territory. The issue isn't that. It's not taking responsibility for choosing that interviewee, that topic and then shying away from discussing it. I was not asking you to "make me feel safe," initially, although that would have been great. I rather took the risk without any signs one way or the other, and you refused to discuss it on the basis that until getting to know me you didn't feel safe. Do you see how this is weird?
From my perspective, there are many statements in your reply that I do not agree with, so answering the last question doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think we’re communicating effectively here through written comments. Respectfully, I’m going to end my responses here. 🙏
For me, it depends on the environment energetically. If the energy is really bad, I find it hard to meditate, whereas when the energy feels pristine, it is easy. Also, for clarity's sake, I would like to kow clearly if you are planning on ever responding to me about the issues I brought forward. I have since learned that these issues permeate meditation communities quite deeply, as can be seen in the Dalai Lama's tongue kissing-boy fiasco - I watched it and it was truly horrible and not just a critical cultural difference, IMO.
Good point about the energy!
I thought I did respond, Alicia, but there must be something else you are seeking from me? Let me know what you had in mind. 🙏
Hey, maybe I didn't get the notificaiton - notifications have been irregular for me and I know a number of other people. The last I heard was when you said you felt safe after feeling like you got to know me here a bit from reading my work and getting a sense of me here on substack, and I responded that I was glad you felt safe and also I was wondering what went into your thought process around initially being hesitant to discuss the element of the issue of sexual abuse that I brought up - namely when it is endorsed or enabled institutionally whereby coaches, top athletes and other authority figures, whether professors, or in other fields, it could be gurus/teachers/supervisors etc are not equally held accountable compared to an average Joe or Jill. Since you do not have a fear or being fired, I wondered what it was you were afraid of before knowing me a bit that would stop you from taking a strong stand and openly saying, "Yes, this is happening all over the place, including on campuses, and I think it is a fair question for a person who is being interviewed because they run a program to prevent sexual violence on campus to be asked and to see a lack of a willingness to respond as a failure that itself must be called out - for a lack of courage for someone to refuse to discuss that topic IN that position indicates either they are afraid of the consequences - they should not be working that job if they can't do it with integrity - or they are colluding to be the face of supposing to do something about a problem that is kept firmly in place by networks that extend in every direction to all the false halls of pseudo power. I'm expanding on why I felt she should have responded to me online, and why I felt if you were going to host her, you had some responsibility to have the conversation even if she wasn't willing...
So I do not know your personal story, but I do think given that you chose that guest and that I was coming to you as someone who has experienced being groomed, however my limited experience pails to others who have had far worse - it was on you to make me feel safe rather than the other way around. And so I just didn't get a response after I responded to you about being glad you felt safe but also disturbed that given the above, you weren't able to step into the space of making me feel safe since I was in your space with the above characteristics.
Did you respond after that? If so, fly me a link, cause like I said I'm not getting notifications with regularity. If not, I guess I don't want to put anything on you at this point, I just want to know if you are planning to respond, because ideally I'd love for you take ownership for avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation piece if we are truly to end sexual violence on campus, as well as in general.
Peace and Love!
(Notifications have definitely been off for me on Substack lately too!)
For others who might be reading along, Alicia is referencing this post -
https://caitlinfaas.substack.com/p/sexual-violence-prevention-professor
(And we've had other conversations somewhere tucked in the Notes feature, on other people's pages too.)
"I'd love for you take ownership for avoiding a difficult but necessary conversation piece if we are truly to end sexual violence on campus."
I'll definitely take ownership that I did not set up my free comments section on Substack to be a safe space. I want people to feel heard and get a chance to express themselves in these free comments, for sure. I also believe the comments section is a place where words get said publicly, without tone, and can easily be misunderstood. I do my best to create safe spaces in other modalities.
I'll also own that I'm not on a personal mission to end sexual violence on campus or sexual violence in general. Do I think it's important? Yes. And I don't have emotional ties to this topic. I don't regularly talk about it. One could say I'm avoiding it - sure. I'll own that. And I don't even have a desire to regularly talk about it at this point in my life, especially on this Substack. One could that's part of the problem. Sure. I am part of a lot of problems. I haven't been talking about politics or war or many other issues on my Substack. That's okay with me.
I've been keeping it at a surface level because while I think there is opportunity for dialogue here, I also sense an agenda. You said you want me to say a particular thing in a particular way. That's fine, you're totally allowed to make that request. And I don't want to say the things you want me to say.
I'm not asking for you to make space and I'm not asking for you to make me feel any particular way. I don't have any requests. I engage with my readers the best way I know how.
So, I'm listening - and I'm not able to create a safe space here for you, Alicia. Grateful for your time and attention.
Okay, so why did you have as a guest a speaker talking about ending sexual violence, and in particular sexual violence on campus? I'd like to see a world where institutions hold all people accountable regardless of their station in life - that's absolutely true - I don't have any others. You asked what else I wanted from you - I only said a specific thing that I would describe as my ideal outcome out conversation because whereas initially I just wanted to know whether to expect a response at all, you seemed to be inviting a deeper ask, and some people find it helpful to have specifics, as opposed to my initial query was wanting to know if you had responded (ie the notifications could be the issue) and if not if you were going to. Again, I think the owness is on you create safe space if you're going to choose that kind of a guest in a forum with open comments.
In my opinion, it's absolutely okay for you to choose not to focus on whatever isn't your alignment to focus on, but if you have a guest on a specific topic but you are unwilling to address relevant conversations to that topic, that's like inviting someone in out of the cold and saying, "he have a drink," then when the order a drink they assumed was on the menue because of the kind of establishment you are, you more or less nicely flip them and show them the door. I love people who just post about their garden, or mindfulness, or lovely art or whatever is inspiring them that they want to showcase without going into more challenging territory. The issue isn't that. It's not taking responsibility for choosing that interviewee, that topic and then shying away from discussing it. I was not asking you to "make me feel safe," initially, although that would have been great. I rather took the risk without any signs one way or the other, and you refused to discuss it on the basis that until getting to know me you didn't feel safe. Do you see how this is weird?
From my perspective, there are many statements in your reply that I do not agree with, so answering the last question doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think we’re communicating effectively here through written comments. Respectfully, I’m going to end my responses here. 🙏
Insightmeditationcenter.org @7:00 pacific
Thanks for sharing, Connie!